Do it Yourself

Write a Thank You Note

When and how to use acknowledgement cards following the death of a loved one.

The Etiquette of Acknowledgement

No longer are personal letters expected in return for expressions of sympathy. In most cases a signed acknowledgement card is sufficient to say “Thank you” for flowers, mass cards, sympathy cards and personal services.

If a more personal touch is desired, a few words can be written on the acknowledgement card with reference to flowers, letters of condolence or to the services which were rendered. These words make the recipient feel that one’s thanks are as personal as if they had been expressed verbally.

We hope the following suggestions will prove helpful in handling the various expressions of sympathy the family receives during bereavement.

The notes printed below in italics are only suggested copy. They may be changed to fit your situation.

CLERGY: Send a personal note thanking the clergyman for their spiritual help. If an honorarium or offering is sent, it should go separately from the note to the clergyman.

Dear Reverend Smith: My husband and I thank you for the consolation you gave us during this difficult time. The beauty of the services you conducted will help us tremendously.

Dear Father Quinn: Thank you for the consolation you gave us and for your continuing prayers.

LETTERS: Replies may be short and written on an acknowledgement card.

Thank you for your kind words of sympathy. It is so nice to have friends like you.

FLOWERS: A personal message may be written on the acknowledgement card.

The roses you send for Dad were beautiful. Thank you so much.

FLOWERS RECEIVED FROM AN ORGANIZATION: Send an acknowledgement card to the leader of the group, and include in the message a reference to the other members.

The flowers sent by the members of the East Side Garden Club were beautiful and greatly appreciated.

If the members have their names on the floral card, an acknowledgement (without a personal message) is sent to each name on the card.

FLOWERS RECEIVED FROM AN UNORGANIZED GROUP: When a group of neighbors, employees, etc., sends flowers an acknowledgement to each name on the card is sufficient.

FRIENDS WHO VOLUNTEER CARS OR SERVICES: A personal note on an acknowledgement card is correct.

Car: Thank you, Bob, for the use of your car. It was needed and greatly appreciated.

Food: A special thank you for the delicious apple pie...the availability of nourishing food in the house was a comfort, and you were very thoughtful.

Service: You were so kind to stay with Mother after the funeral and help her through that first evening alone. Your kindness has not gone unnoticed.